In the defense of Arab men

I was telling you here about how I was raised as a woman, not to fear and how with that freedom, I have gone to places on my own.

Lebanon is one of those places I have gone on my own. I love Lebanon, I have gone 5 times, 4 times on my own.

A few years ago, while I was there discovering Lebanon beyond Beirut, that thing happened to me.

I was staying with friends in the suburbs of Beirut. I had rented a car and decided to go up the mountains to see the cedars on my own. My friends had things to do, I went on my own, I had no issue with that.

That morning, leaving Beirut, I had a car accident. The driver’s door was badly damaged, but as the car still worked, I continued on my way up north. Lebanon really is an amazing country, with breathtaking landscapes. I finally made it to the cedars but the park was closed already, the accident and stopping too many times to take pictures had delayed me. I thought I should hurry a bit to make sure I could get home on time.

I drove up the mountain there, above Bcharé. It was nothing but rocks, the view was breathtaking. Clouds were playing hide and seek with the sun. It was so beautiful, so magic I could have sworn God was right there staging this for me. I could certainly feel his presence.

At some point, halfway up the bare mountain, I stopped and got out of the car to take a picture of the scene. It was literally me and the elements. Not a single soul in sight.

That’s when that car came. An old dark green Mercedes.

Right away, I could see there were 5 men in it, heavily bearded men. Looking unfriendly.

An old green mercedes with 5 heavily bearded men in it, looking unfriendly. And me. I thought it looked like a scene from a movie. Those men reminded me of the evil men we saw in the movies in the 80s. You know, the Arabs who go on exploding themselves.

I was about 20 meters away from my car. I was wearing flip-flops, and a light summer dress. I knew that if I had ran to my car, that other car would be there before me. I knew that if those men had evil intentions, there was nothing I could do about it at this stage. I knew that all I could do was to trust that God was protecting me and that those men had no evil intentions. I had always thrived to be a good person, I hoped that this would help.

I saw the car drive down, I saw them slow down near my car, I saw them look at my car parked in the side of the road, I saw them look at me from a distance, looking very suspicious. The whole scene was playing out in front on my eyes and I could have sworn it was playing in slow motion.

Strangely, I had no fear. It was extremely bizarre. I knew that at this stage, my fate was in the hands of God. After passing by my car, they continued driving down, I thought they really looked like the vilains from the movies, they were driving down and down, it seemed it lasted forever.

When they were about to reach me, I shivered. I had no idea if it was because of a fear I wasn’t conscious of, or just because up this mountain, it was much chillier than on the coast. I remember thinking that if I lived, I won’t make this mistake again dressing for the coast while going up the mountains.

They finally reached my level, I saw the driver take his window down. We were still in slow motion. I had the feeling the man behind the driver was ready to jump out of the car.

Yet, I had this amazing feeling of inner peace. Let it be, I thought, let God decide what happens with me.

“You ok? You need help?”

The driver had asked me if I was okay and if I needed help.

Part of me had always known.

Part of me had lived long enough in the Middle East to know. I had long seen what a disservice those scrubby black beards were doing to Arab men. I had this colleague at some point. He seriously was the sweetest guy ever, I would have trusted him with my sister. But he had this thick black beard and I knew that at the end of a long day at work, when he was tired, when he ceased to wear his heartwarming smile of sheer goodness, he had the potential to look like the vilain from the movies.

I didn’t chose the color of my eyes, Arab men didn’t chose the color of their beard. A smile had the power to change the entire story, but who the f**k smiles all the time? And who smiles at the end of a long day while driving over a mountain with the sun in their eyes?

I thanked the man, I told him I was fine. He said something about my car. I told him that despite appearances, my car was still running, no problem.

Despite appearances.

That day, those men could have raped me, killed me, chopped me into pieces and burried me, nobody would have known.

They could have but they didn’t.

That day, God had decided He had something else for me in store. That day, God decided I was ready for a lesson, an experience that will probably shape the rest of my life. Everything happens for a reason and that day, God had decided that as a Westerner, I knew enough about the Middle East, and about the fear we sometimes create for ourselves out of thin air, to understand and tell the story.

That day, I realized the weight of the narrative we had been served in movies for so many years. That day, I realized it’s really time to fight back on that narrative.

That day was a big milestone in my decision to stand up for Middle-eastern men, in any way I can. Middle-eastern men deserve to have someone like me standing up for them. For some reason, these days the whole world has convinced themselves that Middle-eastern men are necessarily machos of the worst kind, or terrorist wannabees. You Saudis are facing these stereotypes more than any other nation.

Not only do I disagree with these stereotypes, I feel it’s reached a stage where I feel I can no longer confortably live as long as these stereotypes stand. The same way movies greatly contributed to create these stereotypes, I think movies will greatly contribute to take the stereotypes down.

In my years living in the Gulf, I have more than once been blown away by the kindness of Arabs, literally blown away. More than once, I looked at how people behaved and I thought "Nobody, nobody would do that for you back home." Yet, nobody talks about that kindness, they don't make movies about that kindness, no. Time to change that. Let's make a movie where the charming prince is a Saudi. For a change.

Looking back, I think it’s actually funny God chose me for this. I am a liberal, I moved to the Gulf when I was 35, I have no family connection to the Arab world whatsoever. On paper, I don’t look like a candidate for this. But what can I tell you, if it’s God’s will, then let it be, I accept it.