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The trap of Sunday clothes


A few months ago, I had this meeting with this lady at the Louvre in Abu Dhabi. It was an informal meeting. I had traveled all the way from Dubai, this road I don’t like to drive. I was sitting in her office, the lady was really nice. We were chatting. I was telling her where I was coming from professionally speaking. And she was telling me, showing me actually, what she was working on. And I remember thinking “This ain’t right.” We had a brief chat about it, she didn’t seem that open to feedback, I was not in the mood to insist. Oddly though, throughout the conversation, the thing I mentally kept going back to was the dress she was wearing. We were a regular week day meeting in her office and I remember she was wearing the kind of dress that I would have felt comfortable going to a wedding with. Yet there didn’t seem to be plans for a reception that day.

I have kept thinking about that dress, about what it said about the times we live in.

When I was a child, there was this concept that now seems to disappear, the Sunday clothes. You would wear regular clothes during the week, and on weekends, to go to church or to visit family, you would wear your Sunday clothes. Back in those days, Sunday was a special day, the day when you wanted your clothes to be nice, your hair to be clean because you were going to go to grandma and she would have made her special lamb roast for that special day, or seafood, or a fancy cut of beef, those foods she never made during the week.

I feel this concept is vanishing. In a place like Dubai, I see a lot of people who dress everyday like it’s Sunday, and I think that’s a global trend. More and more people dress everyday like it’s Sunday, more and more people also eat everyday like it’s Sunday.

Your best clothes, your best shoes, make-up, nails done, hair done, nice food, a clean car.

Why wouldn’t you if you can? Why wouldn’t you since this might be what you are judged on at work?

I am finding this trend questionable, for a number of reasons.

First, behaving everyday like you have to be on our best is certainly part of the climate change problem. You might look at that top which you like and feel it’s still okay, but not okay to go to work. So you throw it away and buy a new one. And then you might eat a fancy steak on Tuesday night, and then scallions the next day. Can someone still ignore how much of a burden this fancy protein frenzy puts on our planet and its resources?

Second, all the money that goes into this doesn’t go into other potentially more important things. How many fancy dinners would it cost to pay for a well in an African village where people really need it?

Third, this trend puts a heavier burden on women. Think of the manicures, the pedicures, the hairdresser, the make-up, the wardrobe, all this maintenance while men easily get away with wearing the same outfit everyday (I know several who own multiple versions of the same polo / Tshirt / shirt because they can easily streamline) and get away with shaving once a week.

If you are a Saudi woman who want to break away from the abaya, I hear you, but still be careful what you wish for. You might want to express how unique you are but before you know, you will find yourself having to find an appropriate outfit for every moment of your life. Matching the colors, the styles, the shoes, the accessories, what an exhausting business...

A few years ago, I had this colleague who was only ever wearing dresses. I asked her once why that was, she told me it’s because that spared her the hassle of matching a top with a pair of pants, which she thought she had no talent for. Back then, I thought that was odd but now looking back, I think it’s genius.

The problem with all this frenzy about looking your best self at any given time is that it steers us away from more important things. How are we women ever going to do great things if we spend all this time worrying about looking perfect? I for one wish I was born to a culture where you can just slip on an abaya when you leave the house, and you’re set.
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